Single mum life👩👦👶🏾👑🎓👣✨
What is your first thought when you think of a Young single mum?
Lousy , Poor , lazy ? or Stong-Willed , inspirational and hard working?
A big stereo type is that single mums have children for the benefits or child support! which is absolutely ridiculous as most of us do not even receive those things. no child support money could ever cover all the hard work, emotions, energy and late nights we go through.
Another common stereotype is that we hate our baby fathers and are bitter. Yes! as much as we hate what they did and do not comprehend how they could abandon their precious child, how could we hate someone that gave us a beautiful child that we love and adore? seen as that child is also half of the father that would mean we partly hate our child too which is impossible! :D
Last one , We are easy and are fishing around for the next male to get our hands on for a family. Lol chances are we do not have the energy for that... well i know i do not. I am not looking to be raising my son and another big baby lol ! jk they arent all big babies but even building a healthy adult relationship is hard work. I am already doing double shifts as a single mum, give me a break!
The ups and downs...
Like anything there are up sides and down sides.
Not having to compromise when making decisions for your child or consult anyone before you do something (SWEET FREEDOM;) )
When i say no there will be noone for my son to run to who will say yes HA!
No crappy relationship drama ontop of parenting struggles! I dont have any of the relationship issues partners deal with when they are new parents. (once again , SWEET FREEDOM)
A strong bond with your child (You will always be the one person your child can rely on)
You get double the love from your child
Down sides...
When you are ill(if you live alone) there is noone to take over
If something happened to you (god forbid) your child would be left with no parent and there would be a big drama about who is going to bring them up.
It is BLOODY TIRING! there is no denying how much hard work it is. practically double the work.
You will be dealing with the consequences of the father leaving and have to answer all the questions (some which you may not know)
IT GETS LONELY
The father may have other children that he caters to. your child may think there is something wrong with them (but you have to ensure them there isnt)
Your child may have family he/she will never ever know and could even meet them one day and not know they are family (which is VERY messed up! what if they got into a relationship with family ?)
A lot of people think a child with only one parent will not do well. Me and my brothers are proof that they can. I am fatherless myself due to my dad passing away (RIP) which is why it was so hard to come to terms that Isaiah's (my sons) father was not going to step up. But me and my brothers are doing just fine, yes we have had our issues like everyone else. but there can be issues even if a father is in someones life, such as- Unmet promises, divorce , abuse etc.
To all my single QUEENS out there i want you to stop questioning why he wont step up , chances are hes still too immature , isn't a compassionate person , is scared or just simply does not want to be a father to your child either because hes with someone else and doesn't want to ruin that or feels ashamed of his actions. DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP ! use the energy you've been using thinking about that to work on you and your beautiful child/children's future! REMEMBER there is nothing wrong with you or your child its him and hes the one missing out on his own flesh and blood. Dont worry when your child is successful and rich in the future due to your fantastic parenting look who comes running.
I just want you all to know that raising a child on your own is possible! and that child can be GREAT (I know mine will be)
There will always be part of me that hopes Isaiahs father will come through one day because hes missing out so badly... ( Isaiah is hilarious and has the biggest personality )but until then im going to do everything i can to ensure my son has a banging future and has all the love he needs with lots of positive male role models.
Until next time ;)
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